if (terms&conditons_ is fulfilled) {I_love_you} //

I would love you if only you give me more of your time
I would love you if only you lose some weight
I would love you if only you quit smoking
I would love you if only you listen to the music on my playlist
I would love you if only you would take me traveling abroad more often
I would love you if only you make more money
I would love you if only you would give me flowers for anniversaries

If anyone ever tell you anything that sounds like the statements above, just break up with them. The point to be in a relationship is to relate, and to relate meaning we have things in common and stand on the same ground for lots of things in life. Even if we don’t, then there will be a certain level of tolerance that would come into play. And when that tolerance has reach it’s maximum quota, then we should take it with a big heart that we’re just not meant to relate or be in a relationship. I’m not writing this post because I’m having a problem with my own relationship. I’m writing this post on behalf of everyone who is in the “conditional love” situation.

Do we love someone because of who they are right now or the person we want them to be in the future? It’s different than loving someone for who they are capable of being. Wanting someone to grow the way we want is like treating our partner as if they’re plants and we can cut off parts that we don’t like. Or like raising a kid, preparing them to be someone we want them to be. It’s enough for someone to have one set of parents in one lifetime (especially with several times of Mother’s Day in one year). Finding a spouse doesn’t mean we’re free from one mother and goes into the arms of another mother-wannabe to our life. Life partner means someone who can stand by our side when things get rough and work together towards a future, instead of setting up a future and set us to be someone we never truly are.

Just like a programming language, if (terms&conditions fulfilled) {i love you}, meaning only if all the terms are met, only then I will love you. Meaning I don’t love you now. Besides, rather than focusing on changing someone else we should always reflect deep into ourselves and be better at our own. If we can have more time, if we can lose some weight, quit smoking, and make more money then why not. Quoting my own girlfriend saying “I always try hard to win your love, so you won’t have reasons to find another girl”. Meaning she never demanded me to change, but she loves me and take me for who I am (thankful for that, I hope you’re reading this) and also that she is focusing to become a better person instead of forcing me into being better. That gives me more motivation to be better for her too, because I know if she has become too good for me, then it might only be a matter of time before someone better than me is drawn to her doorstep. I never heard her complaining about me or my behavior, but by seeing her improving her own life and personalities I forced myself to be better in all aspects of my life too.

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Categories: PhilosophyTags: , , , ,

JuliusTio

Homo sapient nearing the next stage of evolution

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